Evol Rising
by Amithedragontrainer
Summary: With the help of one overly perky American teen, Artemis must save the world from a cheeky and evil centaur.
1. Chapter 1: Those Crazy Americans

**Chapter 1: Those Crazy Americans**

Artemis sat at his father's desk. Father and Mother were in Seville for their anniversary but the twins were still here, so Artemis Fowl Sr.'s office seemed the best place to hold a conference with Foaly and Holly.

Artemis smiled as he thought this. _Conference. Honestly_. This was one of the few authorized meetings that he and his friends from the People were having, so, as politicians do, the Council wanted to make this seem more unprecedented and official, hence the simple meeting being called a conference. In reality, only Holly, Foaly, Butler, Artemis, and a mystery guest were attending.

The thought of the mystery guest wiped the smile off Artemis's face. Despite his repeated inquiries, Foaly had refused to say exactly who this guest was. Even Holly (to her frustration) was kept in the dark. Butler had not seemed to react at all - but had, without the knowledge of Artemis, packed enough weapons into his coat to effectively rob a Swiss bank.

Artemis raised his mismatched eyes to the Grandfather clock at the far end of the room. One thirty-five in the afternoon. There were precisely ten minutes until the "conference" began.

_Ten is five times two, so everything is fine._Artemis flinched and squeezed the arms of his father's leather chair. The Irish teen had gotten out of therapy only a month ago, and that was five months since the entire conflict with Turnball Root. Despite all this costly therapy, some of the Atlantis Complex still lingered. Dr. J. Argon had explained after all the therapy, to a very angry Angeline Fowl, that it would take time for all the effects of the Complex to fade away. The doctor had been sweating, on account of having found more than a match in Angeline, and Holly had been watching the explanation from the sidelines with a barely-concealed grin.

Holly was fuming. She was fuming because Foaly had been keeping a very big secret from her for five years.

"So why didn't you tell me?" she snarled into her microphone. Her voice was being transmitted back to Foaly's booth back in Haven.

She could hear Foaly sigh. "Holly, it was maximum security. Absolutely nobody other than Commander Jenks knew!"

Commander Winslow Jenks was in charge of the PIB - the People's Investigation Bureau. It had better security than the CIA, more surveillance than the FBI, and more top-secret investigations than the KBG. Foaly was certainly not part of the PIB, but, being the foremost technology expert of the People in general, he was in on a lot of their investigations.

Holly pointed this out. "And you!"

"Right, and me. Jealous?"

If Holly had been in Foaly's booth and they weren't such good friends, she may have kicked Foaly. "Foaly! You're horrible at keeping secrets! We both know that!"

"Burn, Holly, burn." Foaly pretended to be hurt, but everyone who knew Foaly, himself included, knew that keeping secrets was not one of the centaur's talents. "Anyway, you had your hands full with the Fowl boy. No need to get you all excited about something you weren't a part of."

Holly ignored that. "You could have told me there's _another human out there who works with the People!_"

"Shhh!" said Foaly. "You never know who might hear you."

The warning was unnecessary, and both knew it. Holly was walking down the Fowl Manor's driveway toward the front door. She was, of course, shielded, and knew well enough to keep her voice down. Holly glanced behind her at the aforementioned human. It was walking along, humming some popular new pop tune under its breath. Holly bit her lip angrily to keep from screaming. She'd been asked to pick this human up, and had been told about it on the way to its home. Needless to say, she still wasn't happy.

The door flew open, and Artemis stood up abruptly. Holly stormed in. "Hi, Arty," she said, attempting to be conversational. It didn't work, and Artemis heard the tension in her voice immediately.

"Hello, Holly. What's wrong?"

Holly shook her head, shoulder-length hair swishing. "You'll find out, soon enough."

Butler entered the room almost silently. "Holly, as the head of security here, you'll understand why I have to know who is out-"

Holly cut him off. "Let Foaly explain." She nodded at Artemis, who switched on the giant screen on the wall. Foaly's head appeared.

Smirking, he asked, "Hello, Mud Boy. How's Orion?"

Artemis barely suppressed a groan. "Unfortunately, alive and well." He glanced at Holly. "And babbling on continuously."

Holly did groan. "I was hoping the four months of therapy would have gotten rid of him."

Butler grunted. "Who is outside the room, Foaly?"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "So much for small talk." He nodded at Butler. "First off, let me say that I wanted to tell you all sooner. Really."

Artemis settled back into the chair and turned it to face the screen. "So, now that you can tell, please do," he said dryly.

Foaly cracked his neck, and Artemis tried not to look annoyed at the sound. "Alright, Artemis. _There's another human out there working with the people._"

Artemis simply shrugged. "I guessed that might be the case. Simple logical reasoning, really."

Holly growled. "Sounds like the Artemis Fowl we all know."

Foaly asked, "And where is she now? Please tell me you didn't knock her out because you were angry, Holly."

"If I did, I would have been completely justifi-"

Artemis interrupted, leaning forward. "She?" he said in mild surprise.

"Ah," said Foaly, smirking. "Something the Fowl boy doesn't know. May I introduce to you Elaine Harbor."

Elaine entered the room. "Oh," she said with fake happiness, "how I love dramatic entrances."

Artemis shuddered. _If Mother had been here, she would be thrilled,_he thought sarcastically. _Jeans and a t-shirt_. Elaine had her dark brown hair in a sloppy ponytail, with rhinestone-studded jeans and a t-shirt saying, "I believe in fairies. You got a problem with that?" Beneath the words was a furious-looking pixie holding up a big fist. _Not inaccurate_, Artemis had to admit.

The teen - obviously American - stopped six inches from Artemis's nose, looked him in the eyes. Still staring, she said loudly, "Are we going to have a problem with each other, Fowl?"

Artemis held the bold gaze. "Undoubtedly," he replied coolly.

Elaine grabbed the boy's hand and pumped it up and down. "Glad we agree."


	2. Chapter 2: I Hate You, You Hate Me

**Chapter 2: I Hate You, You Hate Me**

"Ooh, look it, a fancy computer. With a deranged centaur on it," quipped Elaine, nodding at a slightly insulted Foaly.

Holly, despite her hate for the Mud Girl, couldn't hide a tiny smirk. Artemis noticed and shot her a quick glare.

Foaly stomped a hoof. "Very funny, Harbor. Absolutely side-splitting."

Elaine smirked. "Whatever. We don't have forever. Whose tail do we kick?" Butler nodded at the appropriate, if not blunt, term.

Foaly rolled his eyes. "Evol's tail - if he actually has one."

Elaine snorted. "He's a centaur, Foaly. Of course he's got a tail."

Holly jumped. "A centaur?" Staring at Foaly, she asked, "Really?"

Foaly nodded, grimacing. "Really. Hard to believe my own species could be so evil."

Elaine sniggered and muttered, "So Evol!"

Artemis frowned, thinking. "Evol … I assume he picked that name himself?"

Holly gave him a sideways stare. "How do you figure that?"

Artemis nearly rolled his eyes, but he didn't want to seem like an adolescent in front of Elaine. "Spell 'love' backwards, Holly."

Butler sighed in frustration. "Does the name really matter?"

"Yes!" shrieked Elaine.

"No," answered Foaly. "He could be called Billy the Unicorn, and I wouldn't care as long as he's locked up." The geeky centaur shuddered. "He's been taunting me."

Artemis maintained a frown. "How?"

Elaine giggled. "Evol's been sending videos of himself stomping on computers to Foaly."

Artemis glared at her. "How is that funny?" He realized that might have been a stupid question, considering that Foaly loved computers, and was bound to have a very dramatic reaction to the videos. Artemis, pointedly trying to ignore Elaine, turned to Foaly. "So, he's taunting you. Therefore, he is very excited, wants attention, and currently is in a secure location."

Foaly would have asked how Artemis knew that, but that would have been a_ really_stupid question. He continued. "Yes, yes, and yes. Evol has … well, he's, ah-"

Artemis stared at the screen. "You don't know?"

Butler glared. "Then, why, Foaly, are we being contacted?"

Elaine answered before Foaly could. "'Cause," she explained, "Evol always sends a taunting video after he's done something evil." She raised her eyebrows at Foaly. "Remember? The dwarves?"

Foaly nodded. "Do I ever. Don't forget that whole incident with the unicorn horns."

"And the M-16's."

"And the selkies."

"Surely you're not forgetting the phoenixes and the Sphinx?"

"Surely you're not forgetting _that we're here_?" asked Artemis, not bothering to hide the contempt in his voice, and gesturing to Holly and Butler.

Foaly smirked at him. "Don't get your ego all in a twist, Fowl. We could never forget you," he said, sarcastically.

Butler cracked his knuckles. Foaly cleared his throat. "Well, we're not completely sure. All I can tell you is your destination. The Notre Dame. Pareeee," he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

Butler raised his. "Stone gargoyles?"

Snorting, Foaly exclaimed, "_Please._ Tell me you don't believe that old myth?"

Elaine blinked (which, not that anyone cares, Artemis thought made her look even more stupid and immature). "Whoa, so they're not stone?"

Foaly rolled his eyes. "I didn't say that, did I?"


	3. Chapter 3: Quality Bonding

**Hey! This is me, Courage, again. Chapter three is up! Oh, boy, I hope y'all like it! Tell me what you think! Review, if you please!**

**DISCLAIMER: Have I ever owned Artemis Fowl? No. Have I ever kissed Artemis Fowl? I wish . . .**

**Chapter 3: Quality Bonding**

Elaine pressed her nose to the window of the Fowl's plane. "Wow," she said.

Not bothering to look up from his book, Artemis asked, "Surely you've been on a plane before?"

Elaine sat back in her leather seat. "Duh, of course, but does that mean I can't enjoy the view from above the clouds?"

The screen above the doorway leading to the pilot's area flickered to life. Who else was on the screen but Foaly (who was secretly thanking his lucky stars that he wasn't on that plane himself).

"Now, now," he said, a tad condescendingly, "be nice, you two."

Elaine pulled her iPod out of her pocket and started fiddling with it. "Snooty European," she muttered.

Artemis continued reading his book. "Idiotic American," he snarled.

Foaly rolled his eyes melodramatically. "Glad you've patched it up."

From the co-pilot's seat, Holly (who had lost the coin toss with Butler) told Foaly, in a rather brusque way, to be quiet unless he had something important to say.

Foaly smirked. Here was a wonderful opportunity to be difficult. "Important as in how?"

Butler answered. "If you find out what Evol is up to, or if the plane is on fire."

Foaly flicked his tail. "What if I see Artemis and Elaine trying to strangle each other?"

Artemis thought he heard Holly chuckle softly. "Depends on who stops breathing first."

Elaine shot a glare at Holly's seat. "Hey, no hard feelings about me being a secret from you, right, Holly?"

From the front: "That's Captain Short to you." Artemis smirked. Elaine threw a pillow at him.

"Well," began Foaly, "I actually did find out some of what Evol is planning."

Artemis and Elaine both looked up sharply. "When were you planning on telling us this little detail, Foaly?" asked Artemis.

Barely containing a snort, Foaly answered, "Well, I wouldn't want to interrupt you and the Mud girl's heartfelt chat, would I?" Elaine rolled her eyes and tapped her watch dramatically. "Alright, alright," said Foaly, returning the eye roll. He looked away from them, presumably at another computer screen. "In the past few months, several People disturbances have been recorded in the area surrounding the Notre Dame."

Artemis nodded, but said nothing. Elaine asked, "What kind of disturbances?"

They heard Foaly clicking a few buttons. "Hmm … mostly sightings."

Holly called from her seat, "What species?"

"Two dwarf, maybe the same dwarf, and a pixie. None were caught."

Elaine raised her eyebrows at Foaly. "Isn't it true that the Notre Dame was a place of sanctuary? Where anyone could hide in there and not be killed or arrested or something like that?"

Foaly shrugged. "Not sure if it is for humans, but certainly for fairies."

Elaine crossed her arms behind her head and reclined back in her seat. "Now, that's a story I'd like to hear."

Foaly opened his mouth, but Holly beat him to the telling. "King Frond decided it should be a place of sanctuary for whoever claimed it. Criminals, fugitives, fairies like that. It's one of the few structures on earth that fairies can enter without permission."

Elaine grinned. "Cool." Then she stopped grinning. "Doesn't that make our job a little more complicated?"

Pulling out of his little pout, Foaly answered, "A lot more complicated."

Artemis had closed his eyes earlier. Now he opened his hazel one. "Can't we simply drop a bio bomb on it and leave it be?"

Elaine jerked out of her relaxed position to glare at Artemis. "And kill all the tourists, no doubt."

Foaly shrugged. "Butler could get everyone out. Hey, we could even scare Evol out and not even drop the bomb. But even a bomb threat is impossible there."

"Why?" asked Butler.

Foaly grimaced. "The gargoyles. They constantly protect the building. And whoever's claimed sanctuary in there too."

Holly shuddered. "Remember the last time we tried to get a criminal out of there?"

Foaly groaned. "Do I ever. That may have been one of the biggest mind wipes in history."

Artemis opened both eyes. "Is there a way to command the gargoyles?"

"Well, yes. It's highly complicated, because gargoyles are both smart and stubborn, but if you've got access to the right manuscripts and the right tools, and if you have incredible memory, they're obliged to serve you for a good while."

"I am presuming that Evol has access to both," muttered Artemis, but loudly enough for Foaly to hear him.

Foaly nodded. "Right you are, Artemis. The local museum was robbed just a month ago -" he wiggled his eyebrows "- and witnesses claimed the robbers consisted of a dwarf and a pixie."

"And we both know Evol's memory is excellent," added Elaine.

Butler grunted, and said darkly, "All we need to know now is what Evol wants."

Shrugging, Elaine said, "I'd bet its world domination. Every villain in every book wants world domination. It's as evil as you can get."

Artemis smirked at her. "The largest extremities are not always in books."

Elaine smirked right back and quipped, "That's true, Fowl. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the snootiest of them all?" She paused, then answered her own question. "The one with the multi-colored eyes, of course."

"Hey!" Holly snarled.

Foaly groaned again. "Just when I was thinking how well everyone was getting along."

Butler agreed, saying, "It's going to be a long flight."


End file.
